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Hiện kết quả 1 đến 4 trong tổng số 4

Đề tài: [HELP] Writing independent task Childhood is the happiest time of a person ‘s life.

  1. #1
    Tham gia ngày
    Jun 2013
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    Mặc định [HELP] Writing independent task Childhood is the happiest time of a person ‘s life.

    “ Give me a ticket to my childhood “ is the title of a very famous book in Vietnam. I love that book so much because every time I feel sad and disappointed, I just read it and things always are better. The book reminds me beautiful memories about my childhood, when the life is so wonderful and the smile always appears. I believe that childhood is the happiest time in my life, the reasons are I was taken care, loved unconditionally, I was fun all the time and never worried about tomorrow.

    The first thing that made my childhood unforgettable was the love of my parents. At that time, my family was not a rich family, my mother still studied college and my dad was the only source of income. Even so, they always tried to give me best conditions. I drank two bottle of milk and ate four meals each day, but my mom didn’t want I became fat so she signed for me a basketball class in the afternoon. Therefore, now I am 1m80 in height and 70kg in weight, I am also one of the most important players in my university basketball team. In 1990s, in my country only children in big cities could have video game because it was expensive and rare. However, after returning from Hanoi on an assignment, he bought me one and you couldn’t image how I was happy. I was the first kid in the 50-miles area had a video game and became quite popular at that time. Every children in my neighborhood were envious with me and I was so proud of this. Although I has been a university student now, I still have kept that video game carefully and each time I felt homesick, I took it out, played again with my friends the Mario, Contra, Battle Tank, etc. It always made me better.

    Second, my childhood was fun and exciting. Each day was an adventure and I had a lot of friends. We often went to the beach and swam in the morning, read comics together in the afternoon and in the evening, we played football with other kids from next neighborhood. Sometime we watched movies, the movie which we like the most is “ Power Rangers “. We loved this movie so much that we remembered every speech from the main characters. We also organized a group, whose name is “ Storm Rangers “, and our mission was keeping the peace on the world. However, we quickly dispersed because everyone wanted to be Red Ranger, the most powerful ranger, and no one accepted to be Pink Ranger, the frailest ranger.

    I think I am a very lucky person because I had a wonderful childhood. Now when I has grown up and left my family to university, I have to take care for myself, recognized not every people were able to trust and unconditional love was so difficult to find. Sometimes I often wish that I could come back to childhood for once, to be loved and taken care, to laughed all day and never worried about future.

    Lich khai giang TOEIC Academy


  2. Thành viên sau cám ơn sdnguyen185 v́ bài viết hữu ích

    dungle2603 (09-06-2013)

  3. #2
    Tham gia ngày
    Mar 2013
    Bài gửi
    247
    Cám ơn
    66
    Được cám ơn 150 lần

    Mặc định

    Trích Nguyên văn bởi sdnguyen185 Xem bài viết
    “ Give me a ticket to my childhood “ is the title of a very famous book in Vietnam. I love that book so much because every time I feel sad and disappointed, I just read it and things always are better(I love it so much because whenever feeling sad, I just read it and everything always become better) . The book reminds me beautiful memories about my childhood, when the life is so wonderful and the smile always appears. I believe that childhood is the happiest time in my life, the reasons are(Because) I was taken care of, loved unconditionally(yêu thương vô điều kiện???), I was funny all the time and never worried about tomorrow(the next days).

    The first thing that made my childhood unforgettable was the love of my parents. At that time, my family was not a rich family, my mother still was studying a college and my dad(father) was the only source of income. Even so, they always tried to give me the best conditions. I drank two bottles of milk and ate four meals each day, but my mom didn’t want I became fat so she signed(registered) for me a basketball class in the afternoon. Therefore, I am now 1m80 in height and 70kg in weight, I am also one of the most important players in my university basketball team. In 1990s, in my country, only children in big cities could have video game because it was extremely expensive and rare. However, after returning from Hanoi on an assignment, he (who is "he"?)bought me one and you couldn’t image how I was happy(However, my father bought me a modern video game on the occasion of an assignment in Hanoi and that made me very happy). I was the first kid in the 50-miles area (had)having a video game and became quite popular at that time(what become? It seems that the underlined sentence is unrelated with the sentence before) . Every children in my neighborhood were envious with me and I was so proud of this. Although I has been a university(delete) student now, I still have kept that video game carefully and each time I felt homesick, I took it out and played again with my friends the Mario, Contra, Battle Tank, etc. It(that) always made me better.

    Second, my childhood was funny and exciting. Each day was an adventure and I had a lot of friends. We often went to the beach and swam in the morning, read comics together in the afternoon, and in the evening we played football with other kids from next neighborhoods. Sometime we watched movies, the movie which we like the most is “ Power Rangers “. We loved this movie so much so that we remembered every speech from the main characters. We also organized a group, whose(its) name is(was) “ Storm Rangers “, and our mission was keeping the peace on the world. However, we quickly dispersed because everyone wanted to be Red Ranger, the most powerful ranger, and(while) no one accepted to be Pink Ranger, the frailest ranger.

    I think I am a very lucky person because I had(have) a wonderful childhood. Now when I has grown up and left my family to university, I have had to take(delete) care for myself, recognized not every people were able to be trusted and unconditionally loved was so difficult to find(I have had to care for myself and recognized that it is so difficult to find people whom I can trust and love). Sometimes I often wish that I could come back to my childhood for once, to be loved and taken care of , to be laughed all day and never worried about the future.
    I think you shouldn't use this writing style applying to an essay.
    You also need to focus on your sentences, which are quite wordy.
    And, you should use tenses obviously. I found that you used tenses in an unreasonable way.

    try your best!
    Sửa lần cuối bởi Thanh_RSV : 09-06-2013 lúc 02:37 PM

    Học từ vựng


  4. 2 thành viên cám ơn Thanh_RSV v́ bài viết hữu ích

    banhmi27 (09-06-2013),sdnguyen185 (09-06-2013)

  5. #3
    Tham gia ngày
    Jun 2013
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    6
    Cám ơn
    5
    Được cám ơn 1 lần

    Mặc định

    Haizz, it is terrible, I need to try harder, thank you a lot
    Sửa lần cuối bởi sdnguyen185 : 09-06-2013 lúc 02:42 PM

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  6. #4
    Tham gia ngày
    Mar 2013
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    Mặc định

    Trích Nguyên văn bởi sdnguyen185 Xem bài viết
    Haizz, Is it terrible, I need to try harder, thank you a lot
    That's not big deal, my dear!
    In reality, I am also bad at English.
    All you have to do now is that you should write your sentence in logical and tidy way. This will help your sentences make sense more and don't become wordy.

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