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Hiện kết quả 1 đến 7 trong tổng số 7

Đề ti: [Help] Gip mnh sửa bi essay ny với

  1. #1
    Tham gia ngy
    Apr 2012
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    Mặc định [Help] Gip mnh sửa bi essay ny với

    QUESTION
    People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    ANSWER

    There are many different reasons for students to attend college or university. In my opinion, the three most primary reasons is to prepare for their career, to raise their knowledge by majoring in a specific subject and to get a certificate.

    First of all, people attend college or university to get preparations for their career in the future. They may get more experience about life, get more confidence by making friend and more understanding about the purpose of studying. Most people think in this way, which means that they want to prepare themselves for their futures career.

    Attending college or university also improves their majors knowledge. Its very necessary for students to specialize in a major or an aspect of life, such as: language, medicine, science, philosophy, music or art. By focusing on one of those, you will have a deeper view or all-side comments on it. With your knowledge you learn or pick up, you can put it in use to make it practical in life.

    Studying is one thing, certificate is another. Some students attend college just to get a certificate with good grades and good comments from teachers. It would be great if you tried your best to acquire a good one ,but in reality, they almost use money to buy a nice certificate. Absolutely, its unjust and unfair to all who make progress to study and work.

    All in all, most people attend a favorite college or university to gain further knowledge to prepare for the future. Knowing that theres unjustice in education but attending college/ university is necessary and very important to everyone.

    Cm ơn mọi người trước

    Lich khai giang TOEIC Academy


  2. #2
    Tham gia ngy
    Mar 2013
    Bi gửi
    247
    Cm ơn
    66
    Được cm ơn 150 lần

    Mặc định

    Trch Nguyn văn bởi dungle2603 Xem bi viết
    QUESTION
    People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    ANSWER

    There are many different reasons for students to attend college or university. In my opinion, the three most primary reasons is(are) to prepare for their career, to raise their knowledge by majoring in a specific subject( I think it'd better: by specializing in a certain major) and to get a certificate( degree: when graduating from a college or an university, you will get a DEGREE, it means: bằng. certificate = chứng chỉ).

    First of all, people attend college or university to get preparations for their career in the future. They may get more experience about life, get more confidence by making friend and more understanding about the purpose of studying. Most people think in this way, which means that they want to prepare themselves for their future’s career.

    Attending college or university also improves their major’s knowledge. It’s very necessary for students to specialize in a major or an aspect of life, such as: language, medicine, science, philosophy, music or art. By focusing on one of those(them: those uses as a subject), you will have a deeper view or all-side comments on it. With your(redundant) knowledge you learn or pick up, you can put it in use to make it practical in life.

    Studying is one thing, certificate is another. Some students attend college just to get a certificate with good grades and good comments from teachers. It would be great if you tried your best to acquire a good one ,but in reality, they almost use money to ‘buy’ a nice certificate. Absolutely, it’s unjust and unfair to most of all(if "all" are treated unfairly so who are the one that use money to "buy"....)who make progress to study and work.

    All in all, most people attend a favorite college or university to gain further knowledge to prepare for the future. Knowing that there’s unjustice(injustice) in education but attending college/ university is necessary and very important to everyone.

    Cm ơn mọi người trước
    hello dear,
    those are my opinions, it can be wrong but I hope it will help. You should replace "certificate" by " degree".
    regard!

    Học từ vựng


  3. 2 thnh vin cm ơn Thanh_RSV v bi viết hữu ch

    banhmi27 (04-06-2013),dungle2603 (04-06-2013)

  4. #3
    Tham gia ngy
    Mar 2012
    Bi gửi
    2,020
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    Được cm ơn 925 lần

    Mặc định

    Trch Nguyn văn bởi dungle2603 Xem bi viết
    QUESTION
    People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    ANSWER

    There are many different reasons for students to attend college or university. In my opinion, the three most primary reasons is are to prepare for their careers, to raise their knowledge by majoring being major (Major is an adj) in a specific subject and to get a certificate degree .

    First of all, people attend college or university to get preparations for their careers in the future. They may get more experience about life, get more confidence by making friend and more understanding about the purpose of studying. Most people think in this way, which means that they want to prepare themselves for their futures career.

    Attending college or university also improves their majors knowledge. Its very necessary for students to specialize in a major or an aspect of life, such as: language, medicine, science, philosophy, music or art. By focusing on one of those, you will have a deeper view or all-side comments on it. With your knowledge you learn or pick up, you can put it in use to make it practical in life.

    Studying is one thing, certificate the degree is another. Some students attend college just to get a certificate
    degree with good grades and good comments from teachers. It would be great if you tried your best to acquire a good one ,but in reality, they almost use money to buy a nice certificate. Absolutely, its unjust and unfair to all who make progress to study and work.

    All in all, most people attend a favorite college or university to gain further knowledge to prepare for the future. Knowing that theres unjustice in education but attending college/ university is necessary and very important to everyone.

    Cm ơn mọi người trước
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    The writing has a good structure. You only should consider the use of some words. Anyway, good luck.

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  5. Thnh vin sau cm ơn choobi v bi viết hữu ch

    dungle2603 (06-06-2013)

  6. #4
    Tham gia ngy
    Apr 2012
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    334
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    Được cm ơn 300 lần

    Mặc định

    Thanks a lot for correcting my essay. I think it is beneficial to me. It's the fist topic in "Barron's - How to prepare for the toefl essay". Though it's a book for old TOEFL examination but I think it can help. Anyway, thank you guys!

    Facebook Group Học tiếng Anh MIỄN PH


  7. #5
    Tham gia ngy
    Apr 2012
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    334
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    877
    Được cm ơn 300 lần

    Mặc định

    Could you please check this essay for me? I will be very greatful to your corrections.

    Do you think this essay of mine is too short? It has 195 words according to MS Word. I don't know howmany words in an essay would be OK.

    Thank you in advance!


    2
    QUESTION
    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
    "Teachers should encourage their students to question everything."
    Use examples and reasons to support your position

    ANSWER
    There are many dynamic and active students in a class but there are also some quiet, reserved and passive ones, too. So, stimulating students to ask questions is very necessary. The encouragemet of questioning may be a little work but can have a beneficial impact on students.

    That teachers encourage their students to question makes the student more eager to learn and help them study well by filling their gaps of knowledge. Since studying is a constant process to take in knowledge, you need to understand the lesson almost completely before you go on to new things. Therefore, don't hesitate to encourage your students to ask you some questions.

    One more reason why teachers should encourage their students to question is to better their confidence and to increase interaction between the teacher and the student. It's good for students not only to raise knowledge, but improve their skills of questioning and answering as well. So, why don't teachers encourage them to ask everything?

    On the whole, I think teachers should inspire their students by encouraging them to ask questions. It only takes them a little time to do that but may alter their teaching ways.

    Sửa l̀n cúi bởi dungle2603 : 08-06-2013 lúc 09:21 PM

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  8. #6
    Tham gia ngy
    Mar 2013
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    Được cm ơn 150 lần

    Mặc định

    I think you shouldn't worry about the matter of it's long or not.
    You should focus on your arguments and reasons.
    In this essay, you pointed out two arguments to prove the statement that it's necessary for teachers to encourage their students to question anything.
    It had better if you can find three and more arguments to support your view.
    p/s: I found some spelling mistakes in your essay. You need to use MS Word to correct them. You know, it is so a useful function of MS Word that most of Vietnamese haven't known.
    Try it!

    Lich khai giang TOEIC Academy


  9. Thnh vin sau cm ơn Thanh_RSV v bi viết hữu ch

    dungle2603 (08-06-2013)

  10. #7
    Tham gia ngy
    Mar 2011
    Nơi cư ngụ
    Hà "ḷi" city 8-}
    Bi gửi
    608
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    156
    Được cm ơn 420 lần

    Smile

    There are many dynamic and active students in a class but there are also some quiet, reserved and passive ones, too. (non-academic) So (non academic) Therefore, it is necessary that teachers (should)... The encouragement of questioning may be a little work but can have a beneficial impact on students.

    That teachers encourage their students to question can make students more eager to learn and help them study well by filling their gaps of knowledge(?) . Encouraging students to make questions can develop their eagerness for the subjects, thereby improving their academic performances. Since studying is a constant process to take in acquire knowledge, you students/ pupils/ learners need to understand the lesson almost completely thoroughly before going to new things. Therefore, don't hesitate to encourage your students to ask you some questions.
    (This essay is not meant for any individuals or teachers, but for general audiences encompassing teachers, mothers, parents, students, and so on)

    One more reason why teachers should encourage their students to question is to enhance/bolster up their confidence and to increase interaction between the teacher and the student. It's good for students not only toraise knowledge, but improve their skills of questioning and answeringinterpersonal skills as well. So, why don't teachers encourage them to ask everything?

    On the whole, I think teachers should inspire their students by encouraging them to ask questions. It only takes them a little time to do that but may alter their teaching ways.


    Whether this essay is long enough or not is generally depends on what kind of examininations you are going to carry out. If this essay is assessed by the criteria of an IELTS examiner or a teacher of a foreign language specialised school, you are likely to lose marks since the minimum word limit for these examinations is 250 words. Btw, this task requires you to use formal writing, so it is best to avoid informal words, which are frequently used in everyday conversations. You should not use "I", "We", "You" as well, unless you are expressing an opinion. And one's more, your opinion on the statement is advised to attachted to Introductory paragraphs or to the conclusion. There's no need to keep repeating it by making questions thoroughout the essay.
    Sửa l̀n cúi bởi kuckutkute181 : 09-06-2013 lúc 10:42 AM


  11. Thnh vin sau cm ơn kuckutkute181 v bi viết hữu ch

    dungle2603 (09-06-2013)

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