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Hiện kết quả 1 đến 10 trong tổng số 10

Đề ti: [HELP] Writing integrated task- Mong mọi người gp v chỉnh sửa cho em ạ :D

  1. #1
    Tham gia ngy
    Jun 2013
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    Mặc định [HELP] Writing integrated task- Mong mọi người gp v chỉnh sửa cho em ạ :D

    Both the reading and the lecture discuss whether using types of reward given is beneficial. The reading provides some reasons of support. However, the professor refutes each of them.

    To begin with, the reading mentions that it follows in many business enterprises, the approach to getting employees to work hard or improve productivity is to reward them with money or company stock. The lecture rejects this point by claiming that when he asked some people who experienced a reward system, he found they didn’t like it. People want to be given respect for working extra hard.

    Second, the reading gives the reason that reward system improves employees attitude, motivation and productivity. Nevertheless, the professor contends that there is not any study that has shown a long-term improvement between reward and productivity. In contract, there are many studies who assert that reward decrease the quality of work. According the professor, rewards actually punish. People see that they are being controlled and they don’t like it. More importantly, if for some reasons, worker can’t get the necessary reward, they will be disappointed and feel like being punish.

    Moreover, the lecture also states that reward system may affect to the relationship between worker and supervisor. For example, if a worker has problems, he might see difficult to ask for help from supervisor, who can decide the rewards. To avoid a negative rating, the worker keeps quite.

    In conclusion, the reading thinks that reward system is an advance system to improve productivity. However, by giving persuasive reasons, the professor shows that there are also disadvantages which reduce the quality of work and productivity in the reward system.
    Sửa l̀n cúi bởi sdnguyen185 : 04-06-2013 lúc 04:15 PM

    Lich khai giang TOEIC Academy


  2. #2
    Tham gia ngy
    Mar 2012
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    Mặc định

    Trch Nguyn văn bởi sdnguyen185 Xem bi viết
    Both the reading and the lecture discuss whether using types of reward given is beneficial or not. The reading provides some reasons of supporting ideas. However, the professor refutesdrejects each of them.

    To begin with, the reading mentions that it follows in many business enterprises, the approach to getting have employees to work hard or improve productivity is to reward them with money or company tock. The lecture rejects this point by claiming that when he asked some people who experienced a reward system, he found they didnt like it. People want to be given respect for working extra hard.
    Second, the reading gives the reason that reward system improves employees attitude, motivation and productivity. Nevertheless, the professor contends that there is not any study that has shown showing a long-term improvement between reward and productivity. In contract, there are many studies who assert that reward decrease the quality of work. According the professor, rewards actually are to punish. People see that they are being controlled and they dont like it. More importantly, if for some reasons, worker cant get the necessary reward, they will be disappointed and feel like being punishpunished .

    Moreover, the lecture also states that reward system may affect to the relationship between worker s and supervisors. For example, if a worker has problems, he might see find difficult to ask for help from supervisor, who can dec ide the rewards. To avoid a negative rating, the worker keeps quite.

    In conclusion, the reading thinks that reward system is an advanced system to improve productivity. However, by giving persuasive reasons, the professor shows that there are also disadvantages which reduce the quality of the work and productivity in the reward system.
    =========================
    Ngha qua một số lỗi ngữ php v cch dng từ thi nh, cn nội dung th mnh khng hiểu lắm bạn ạ.

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  3. Thnh vin sau cm ơn choobi v bi viết hữu ch

    sdnguyen185 (04-06-2013)

  4. #3
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    Mặc định

    I don't even know what this essay is about....

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  5. #4
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    Mặc định

    Trch Nguyn văn bởi Thanh_RSV Xem bi viết
    I don't even know what this essay is about....
    yes, " the reading"...What does it mean?

    Facebook Group Học tiếng Anh MIỄN PH


  6. #5
    Tham gia ngy
    Mar 2013
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    Mặc định

    Trch Nguyn văn bởi sdnguyen185 Xem bi viết
    Both the reading and the lecture discuss whether using types of reward given is beneficial. The reading provides some reasons of support. However, the professor refutes each of them.

    To begin with, the reading mentions that it(what's "it"?) follows in many business enterprises, the approach to getting employees to work hard or improve productivity is to reward them with money or company stock. The lecture rejects this point by claiming that when he asked some people who experienced a reward system, he(they) found they didn’t like it. People want to be given respect for working extra hard.

    Second, the reading gives the reason that reward system improves employees attitude, motivation and productivity. Nevertheless, the professor contends that there is not any study that has shown a long-term improvement between reward and productivity. In contract, there are many studies who(which) assert that reward decrease the quality of work. According the professor, rewards actually punish. People see that they are being controlled and they don’t like it. More importantly, if for some reasons, worker can’t get the necessary reward, they will be disappointed and feel like being punished.

    Moreover, the lecture also states that reward system may affect to the relationship between worker and supervisor. For example, if a worker has problems, he might see difficult to ask for helping from supervisor, who can decide the rewards. To avoid a negative rating, the worker keeps quite(quiet).

    In conclusion, the reading thinks that reward system is an advance system to improve productivity. However, by giving persuasive reasons, the professor shows that there are also disadvantages which reduce the quality of work and productivity in the reward system.
    Beyond some errors pointed out by sis choobi. there are, I think, some tiny errors you need to consider.
    p/s: It seems like there is a debate about whether reward is positive or negative among three people, they include a professor, a lecturer and a student.
    You used "the reading" as "student", right?

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  7. Thnh vin sau cm ơn Thanh_RSV v bi viết hữu ch

    sdnguyen185 (04-06-2013)

  8. #6
    Tham gia ngy
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    Mặc định

    Trch Nguyn văn bởi Thanh_RSV Xem bi viết
    Beyond some errors pointed out by sis choobi. there are, I think, some tiny errors you need to consider.
    p/s: It seems like there is a debate about whether reward is positive or negative among three people, they include a professor, a lecturer and a student.
    You used "the reading" as "student", right?
    It's the unclear understanding about " the reading" that prevented me from showing some errors

    Lich khai giang TOEIC Academy


  9. #7
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    Mặc định

    I think He(she) used "the reading" as a person.
    "the reading gives the reason that"
    "the reading and the lecture discuss whether"
    "the reading thinks that"
    I don't think "the reading" is able to gives something, discuss about something if it's something rather than somebody. Particularly, "the reading" can think so it must be someone.


  10. #8
    Tham gia ngy
    Jun 2013
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    Mặc định

    Thank you a lot, I am trying to improve my intergrated writing in the Tofel IBt, it is the Question 1 in the Writing test. The Test will show us an essay, which supports a matter and then a lecture, which opposes it. The reading in here means the essay. Are there any problems with this ? Can you give me some advice ?
    Sửa l̀n cúi bởi sdnguyen185 : 04-06-2013 lúc 09:52 PM


  11. #9
    Tham gia ngy
    Mar 2013
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    Mặc định

    Trch Nguyn văn bởi sdnguyen185 Xem bi viết
    Thank you a lot, I am trying to improve my intergrated writing in the Tofel IBt, it is the Question 1 in the Writing test. The Test will show us an essay, which supports a matter and then a lecture, which opposes it. The reading in here means the essay. Are there any problems with this ? Can you give me some advice ?
    I got it!
    so I think you should consider some verbs used follow "the reading".
    do you think "an essay" can think?
    Some verbs can be unsuitable when used after "the reading" as an active form.
    Sửa l̀n cúi bởi Thanh_RSV : 04-06-2013 lúc 10:05 PM


  12. Thnh vin sau cm ơn Thanh_RSV v bi viết hữu ch

    sdnguyen185 (05-06-2013)

  13. #10
    Tham gia ngy
    Feb 2013
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    247
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    Được cm ơn 296 lần

    Mặc định

    Trch Nguyn văn bởi sdnguyen185 Xem bi viết
    Both the reading and the lecture discuss whether using types of reward given is beneficial. The reading provides some reasons of support. However, the professor refutes each of them.

    To begin with, the reading mentions that it follows in many business enterprises, the approach to getting employees to work hard or improve productivity is to reward them with money or company stock. The lecture rejects this point by claiming that when he asked some people who experienced a reward system, he found they didn’t like it. People want to be given respect for working extra hard.

    Second, the reading gives the reason that reward system improves employees attitude, motivation and productivity. Nevertheless, the professor contends that there is not any study that has shown a long-term improvement between reward and productivity. In contract, there are many studies who assert that reward decrease the quality of work. According the professor, rewards actually punish. People see that they are being controlled and they don’t like it. More importantly, if for some reasons, worker can’t get the necessary reward, they will be disappointed and feel like being punish.

    Moreover, the lecture also states that reward system may affect to the relationship between worker and supervisor. For example, if a worker has problems, he might see difficult to ask for help from supervisor, who can decide the rewards. To avoid a negative rating, the worker keeps quite.

    In conclusion, the reading thinks that reward system is an advance system to improve productivity. However, by giving persuasive reasons, the professor shows that there are also disadvantages which reduce the quality of work and productivity in the reward system.
    Those who are familiar with TOEFL iBT tests would know that there are two tasks in the writing section: The independent and the integrated tasks.

    In the independent task, students are given a topic to write. For example, “What are the reasons for going to college?” or “Between clean environment and jobs, which one is more important to you?” It can be any type of essay such as narrative, descriptive, expository, or persuasive essays.

    In the integrated task, students first read a passage then listen to a lecture that may take a different position in opinions. After that, they are asked to write a compare and contrast essay about the reading passage and the lecture.

    With that understanding, I am trying to correct your essay as below:

    --- o0o ---

    Both the reading and the lecture discuss whether using (add: some) types of reward (add: systems) given (delete: given) is beneficial (add: in a company). The reading provides some reasons of (to) support. However, the professor (lecturer) refutes each (all) of them.

    Suggestion: Both reading and lecturing sections discuss whether it is beneficial to employ a reward system in a company. The reading provides supports. However, the lecturing refutes the idea.

    To begin with, the reading mentions that it follows in (delete: in) many business enterprises, (add: and) the (add: right) approach to getting employees to work hard or improve productivity is to reward them with money or company stock. The lecture rejects this point by claiming that when he asked some people who (add: are) experienced (add: with) a reward system, he found they didn’t like it. People want to be given respect for working extra hard.

    Suggestion: First, the reading section states that rewarding employees with money or company stock is the right approach to get them to work harder or to improve productivity. The lecturer rejects the claim. He points out that, based on those who are experienced with reward systems, the idea is not recommended. He believes that employees prefer respect to rewards for their extra effort.

    Second, the reading gives the reason (the reading section reasons) that reward system improves employees attitude (reward systems improve employees’ attitude), motivation (comma) and productivity. Nevertheless, the professor (lecturer) contends that there is not any (a) study that has shown (shows) a long-term improvement (add: based on the relationship) between reward (rewards) and productivity. In contract, there are many studies who (that) assert that reward (rewards) decrease the quality of work. According (add: to) the professor (lecturer), rewards actually punish (rewarding is a form of punishment). People see that they are being controlled and they don’t like it. More importantly, if for some reasons, worker can’t get the necessary reward, they will be disappointed and feel like being punish (punished).

    Moreover, the lecture (lecturer) also states that (add: a) reward system may affect to (delete: to) the relationship between worker and supervisor (workers and their supervisors). For example, if a worker has problems, he might see (find it) difficult to ask for help from (add: his) supervisor, (delete the comma) who can decide the rewards. To avoid a negative rating, the worker keeps quite (quiet).

    In conclusion, the reading (add: section) thinks (indicates) that (add: a) reward system is an advance system to improve productivity. However, by giving persuasive reasons, the professor (lecturer) shows that there are also disadvantages which reduce the quality of work and productivity in the (a) reward system.

    --- o0o ---

    I provided corrections for grammatical mistakes and a different way to write for the first two paragraphs. If you would like, you may re-write the rest as suggested.

    Good luck.

    Sửa l̀n cúi bởi M Clueless : 05-06-2013 lúc 06:39 AM


  14. Thnh vin sau cm ơn M Clueless v bi viết hữu ch

    sdnguyen185 (05-06-2013)

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