12-09-2010, 06:25 PM #1
Write a letter about the most memorable past experience
Have you ever come to a beautiful beach? Well, I have. Last July, I went on a trip to Sam Son beach with my family. It took us 4 hours to go there. We stayed and relaxed in the hotel. In the afternoon, I and my little brother went to the beach with my parents. My mother said to me:" Don't swim too far! It's dangerous". After that, I and my brother went swimming with a float. We swam and played with the water. I told my brother to swim farther for more fun.
Suddenly a huge wave appeared. My brother was slipping out of hand from the float and drifted away. He didn't know to swim. It was terrible. All of us were very worried. Luckily, my father swam to him and saved hịm immediately. Then, he was okay and drank some water. After that, I realized that we should obey our parents, because they always give us good things.
Write to me soon and tell me all your news.
mọi người giúp ḿnh sửa lỗi với thanks everyone
ḿnh cần ngay trong tối nay hoặc sáng sớm ngày mai, mọi ngưới cố giúp nhé
Sửa lần cuối bởi pmtuyen411 : 12-09-2010 lúc 08:04 PM
- 12-09-2010, 09:03 PM #2
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12-09-2010, 09:48 PM #3
thank you very much .
So what sentences can I join?
If I don't use "little", which word will be correct? What about "younger"?
which preposition instead of "with" on that sentence?
Maybe I should add something to my writing
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20-09-2010, 01:25 AM #4
Your use of grammar is quite proper, but the use of language is miserable. Were I a teacher, I would give 7 mark for this piece of writing. You should opt for more words to include in your essay, not just repeat the words that has been used before. Feel free to ask me if you do not have good grasp about the corrections I have made.
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