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ngocgl
30-06-2006, 03:32 PM
hi friends!

I'm not good at writing, and I really find difficult to express my ideas in a paper (screen). But even I like or not, writing now become one of four parts in iBT so that I must try.

I will post my TWEs in here whenever I finish them. I hope that I will have friends that bad in writing skill like me but want to improve themselves by sharing their writing as well as person who is professonal in writing.

Thank you

ngocgl
30-06-2006, 03:34 PM
Here is my newest topic:

TOEFL question #47:
You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

Answer:

In my opinion, living is not only just for ourselves but also for our community. For that reason, if I have to decided to give several hours each month to improve the community I will choose training for homeless children. This option is chosen because of some reasons below.

Fist of all, this work is quite suitable for me. Usually, I havenít have much time, most of my time is in the office, in order to saving time I would choose the work that Iím used to such as training. I have trained a lot of course while I was a student so that training in not take me much time to prepare. In addition, Iím not enough strength for the jobs require many muscles like carrying or digging while teaching is not require muscles just use your knowledge in my mind. Plus, I find very happy when seeing the growth of my pupils, itís a positive feedback to my contribution.

Furthermore, the most important reason to explain why I choose training homeless children but not for someone else is the potential of reducing the criminal rate for community. As you know, homeless children were adopted by their parent very soon therefore they have no ability to recognize what are wrong and what are right. As a result, these uneducated children are easy become the criminals. It is reality, because many studies and reports have said that the rate of homeless children become criminal is very high. To reduce this plight, while teaching not only do I teach the knowledge but also will I teach them how to live. Consequently, the criminal rate will be reduced.

For two main reasons, one again, if I have several hours in a week, I will choose training homeless children to contribute for my community where I live. It lets me have more time for other jobs and reduces the criminal rate.

kinhnghiem
01-07-2006, 07:53 AM
Hi ngocgl,
You did choose a good topic to start :) > I have some commons as follows:

-----------
Here is my newest topic:

TOEFL question #47:
You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

Answer:

In my opinion, living is not only just for ourselves but also for our community. For that reason, if I have to decided to give -> have several hours each month to improve the community I will choose training for homeless children. This option is chosen because of some reasons below.


Fist of all, this work is quite suitable for me. Usually, I havenít have much time, most of my time is in the office, in order to saving time I would choose the work that Iím used to such as training. I have trained a lot of course while I was a student so that training in not take me much time to prepare. In addition, Iím not enough strength for the jobs require many muscles like carrying or digging while teaching is not require muscles just use your knowledge in my mind. Plus, I find very happy when seeing the growth of my pupils, itís a positive feedback to my contribution.

You should choose another idea, for example, training for homeless children will help them have knowledge,...

Furthermore, the most important reason to explain why I choose training homeless children but not for someone else is the potential of reducing the criminal rate for community. As you know, homeless children were adopted by their parent very soon therefore they have no ability to recognize what are wrong and what are right. As a result, these uneducated children are easy become the criminals. It is reality, because many studies and reports have said that the rate of homeless children become criminal is very high. To reduce this plight, while teaching not only do I teach the knowledge but also will I teach them how to live. Consequently, the criminal rate will be reduced.

Good idea

For two main reasons, one again, if I have several hours in a week, I will choose training homeless children to contribute for my community where I live. It lets me have more time for other jobs - What does it mean ?and reduces the criminal rate

ngocgl
01-07-2006, 08:26 AM
You should choose another idea, for example, training for homeless children will help them have knowledge,...
Yes, I still had a few ideas, I will add some later.
But, In fact I really want that some of us should share our time to contribute this topic by adding some ideas or writing a completed paragraph (like Kinhnghiem did)

For two main reasons, one again, if I have several hours in a week, I will choose training homeless children to contribute for my community where I live.
It lets me have more time for other jobs - What does it mean ?and reduces the criminal rate

In the second paragrand I have mentioned that I hadn't have much time so that teaching can save my time. :). Maybe it not clear so I should rewrite it again, umh ?