View Full Version : Nhờ mọi người nhận xt

14-04-2007, 08:23 PM
Em mới tập viết luận, nhờ mọi người gp gim.
Tiện thể cho em hỏi "gp " trong tiếng Anh ni thế no ?
Cảm ơn mọi người nhiều lắm :)

Question : In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computer or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer ? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice.

With the advancement of technology, I can learn a lot without go to school by using devices such as computer and television, but I can learn even more if I study at a traditional school. I can learn from other people by interacting with them, and competing with my classmates make me study hard. Therefore, I believe that it is better to study at school than at home.

First of all, I will acquire knowledge more completely if I have my teachers help. Of course, a computer is able to give me information or tell me where my mistakes are, but those are all it can do. Meanwhile, a teacher not only can do it as well, but also will choose the best way to explain difficult problems so that I can absorb them easily. In addition, teacher can extend our lesson correspond to my ability.

Secondly, interaction with other people increases my knowledge. At home I have nobody to talk to. No one can hear my ideas. At school I have a lot of opportunities to discuss with my teachers or my friends. I can present my ideas, then people can ask me to express something more clearly or help me correct points I misunderstood. Therefore, we can develop ideas, and understand new things as well as consolidate our old lessons.

Thirdly, competition will motivate me. When I am at home, nobody can see my work. I do not know whether I did a good job or a bad job. When I am at school,.my teachers and my classmates see my work, and I can see their work. I can compare my work with my classmates ones. Certainly, I want to do a good job like my classmates, or even a better job, so I must to study harder.

Some people can study very well when they are alone at home, but I cannot. I need to have other people near me. When I am with other people, I have the possibility to learn more knowledge. I have the opportunity to develop my ideas more completely. I am motivated to do a better job. Therefore, school is the best place for me.

14-04-2007, 08:49 PM
bài viết rất có ý nghĩ
tuy nhiên cấu trúc câu còn chưa chính xác
nhưng như vậy đã tốt lắm rồi

16-04-2007, 08:45 AM
bạn c thể ni r hơn được khng?

16-04-2007, 08:48 AM
ủa hình như mình post lộn chỗ rồi.
Nhờ anh mod chuyển vào mục Writing correction nhé.
Cám ơn

16-04-2007, 10:56 PM
ủa hnh như mnh post lộn chỗ rồi.
Nhờ anh mod chuyển vo mục Writing correction nh.
Cm ơn

bi viết của bạn được đ tuy nhin chỉ c 1 số lỗi nhỏ về ngữ php thi ko c g sai đng kể cả đu ,cứ yn tm
mới viết như bạn m viết được như thế l rất kh đấy
chc mừng bạn !!!
thn!!!!:) :)

16-04-2007, 11:33 PM
ok, bài viết khá tốt. Tuy nhiên, những details mà bạn đưa ra chưa đủ để support ideas của bạn đâu. Bạn cần đưa ra một số ví dụ cụ thể vào. Ví dụ như trong đoạn thứ nhất của phần BODY, tại sao bạn không thử đưa vào một ví dụ mà trong đó, nhờ có giáo viên mà bạn hiểu vấn đề hơn???

Give it a try! I think you'll get a lot of progress soon.