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hackerheart
25-01-2007, 04:12 PM
What is real love?
When you have a real love, and you love a beautiful girl. Your life will be upset. Youll see her face anywhere and anytime. This is unlucky. If she loves you too, youll be very happy. You can write poems even though see branch. Your life is all sunshine and roses.
What will you do if she doesnt reciprocate your affection? At first sign, thats seem simple. But in my opinion, its not simple, youll see that picture increasing and until then youll know that you love her very much. Then, she advises you forget her and find another girl to love. In your opinion, is that simple? For me, hard to say forget her and its breaking my heart.
But your life still continue, someday, you meet a another excellent girl, she loves you and you love her too. This is lucky and happy. If you have a good girlfriend, youd love and compassion her very much and Im sure you feel happy.

miumiu
25-01-2007, 09:20 PM
What is real love?
When you have a real love, and you love a beautiful girl. Your life will be upset.(when, clause+clause)( Can i rewrite it like this: when you really fall in love with a girl, especially a very beautyful one, your life is unlucky indeed). Youll see her face anywhere and anytime( You will miss here very much, whenever you are or whatever you do, here images wil be always in your mind- is this true;) ). This is unlucky( I think this sentence should be put after this part). If she loves you too, youll be very happy. You can write poems even though see branch( What do you mean here?). Your life is all sunshine and roses.
What will you do if she doesnt reciprocate your affection? At first sign,(as many people think) thats seem(that's seems to be) simple. But in my opinion, its not (so) simple, youll see that picture(her face, her images) increasing and until then( the structure is not very good here) youll (realize)know that you love her very much. Then, she advises you(to) forget her and find another girl to love. In your opinion, is that simple? For me, hard to say forget her and its breaking my heart.
But (HOwever to avoid repeat But)your life still continue, someday( one day), you(will) meet a another excellent( only excilent girl? what about beautyful and lovely , And is that true if you only love such girls:rolleyes: )girl, she loves you and you love her too. This is lucky and happy. If you have a good girlfriend, youd love and compassion(this is noun) her very much and Im sure you feel happy.

Your essay topic is really hot and cool indeed:D .

Is it true for your circumstance? sorry if i'm too curious:(
But if it's true, let be optimistic and remember that she isnot the half of you, your partner is another one, You've just mistaken.
IS it ok now?
hope you happy and lucky more

anninh
25-01-2007, 11:18 PM
I think, we not use "repair" for the essay, "repair or fix" are used to talk about machine.We use "revise" instead of.

hackerheart
26-01-2007, 09:14 AM
Thật sự cám ơn miumiu rất nhiều, bài viết nào của tôi cũng được bạn góp ý và chỉnh sửa.

Branch : Cành cây (nghĩa này có được không bạn)
dùng wonderful thay cho excellent (có được không bạn)
"love and compassion" : yêu thương (hay là dùng love thôi)

Cám ơn bạn anninh về ý kiến của bạn.
Dùng correct được không bạn

Thanks much.
I love dethi.com.

Peculiar
26-01-2007, 11:58 AM
Chữ "correct" là sửa lỗi. Nếu bạn muốn nói "tìm và sửa lỗi" thì dùng chữ "proof-read" là ngắn gọn nhất.
Chỗ "branch" công nhận khó hiểu thật. Ý của bạn là gì?

hackerheart
29-01-2007, 11:37 AM
Chữ "correct" l sửa lỗi. Nếu bạn muốn ni "tm v sửa lỗi" th dng chữ "proof-read" l ngắn gọn nhất.
Chỗ "branch" cng nhận kh hiểu thật. của bạn l g?

Ti muốn viết l " Bạn c thể lm thơ ngay cả khi chỉ nhn cnh cy" : You can write poems even though see branch

Ai c kiến hay hơn th gip ti với.

Peculiar
29-01-2007, 12:16 PM
My suggestion:

"Even a bough can inspire you to pen poems."

walllightphys
29-01-2007, 07:21 PM
okey,peculiar your sentence is really good.i have seen many posts of you.And your writting and your checking are really good.I 'm learning how to write like you.
+Can you share your experiencies to me?

hackerheart
30-01-2007, 08:01 AM
My suggestion:

"Even a bough can inspire you to pen poems."

Thanks much Peculiar.

I love dethi.com :D

Peculiar
03-02-2007, 09:12 AM
@walllight: Strive for a firm grasp of grammar, then read as much as you can. Only through experience, born of extensive reading, will you be able to polish your piece.

walllightphys
03-02-2007, 05:28 PM
Okey,thank Peculiar