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Renna
20-12-2006, 04:06 PM
What're the family problem that parenrs in your country may be facing? Tell about the way you solve one of the problem.

thuytrang
20-12-2006, 04:42 PM
tạm được rồi đó cưng

kawaiami
20-12-2006, 06:13 PM
Bài này khá dài, ḿnh chỉ chữa thử thôi nha, có ǵ sai th́ bỏ qua nha bạn :D

What're the family problems that parent in your country may be facing? Tell about the way you solve one of the problems.

[SIZE="3"] Family is the cells of society(sao is mà chữ cell có s vậy bạn???) Therefore the problem of each family are also the problem of society (are mà problem ko có s là seo?? =.="). In the modern life, parents may be facing many problem of their family. The first problem is family education. In oder to teach a child to the right way, parents need to be moral. The behaviour of parents would influence very strong with their children(h́nh như chỗ vẻy strong ko được chính xác bạn ah.thường th́ người ta nói là ...influence strong with their children very much, ko chắc lắm^^) Young children can study easily the bad thing from their friends, movies, society...They may try smoking, drinking alcohol or becoming violence. They are even addicted to drugs. It will lead to an unhappy family.
Secondly, parents may be facing family's economic. High income will help the life more comfortable. Moreover, many parents emphasized to earn money too much and do not take good care of their family.
The third problemis the way to make a cosy family. How sweet and gentle the family is when every member gather in their dinner and talk together after a labour day!The parents need to listen more from their children and they also need to make a chance to change the atmosphere of their family(ḿnh nghĩ là also need chứ ko phải là need also). Nowadays, the number of divorce couples increases fast. It can be a shock to their children and influence bad ro society. A summer holiday or even a cosy dinner could help the family mantain happiness.
The fourth problem is the equality between men and women. Many family still mantain the view that a boy is better than s girl. Violence in family is also an important problem. There are many way to solve these problem and it according to each member in family.
For me, being a student, I can help my parents to earn money by being a tutor. the money is not much but it make my parents are proud of me(make có s chứ nhỉ?). To keep a happy family, I often talk to my parents and concern to them very much. On my parents ' anniversary, I boy(sai chính tả ah????) some flowers or small presents for them. When my parents have an argrument, I say :' Papa, mama, you are harming my little heart'. It's inly a joke but my parents often talk less. It is one of my way to keep my family happy(Động từ đâu rùi????). I believe that all parents love their children and we should be deserted with them by being a good student

Bài của bạn làm th́ hay nhưng mà h́nh như do bạn đánh máy nhanh quá nên có vài chỗ sai chính tả chăng?^^ Nếu có chỗ nào ḿnh chữa sai th́ bạn cứ nói lại ḿnh! :)

catbuitriam
20-12-2006, 07:56 PM
Family is the cells of society. Therefore the problem of each family are also the problem of society. In the modern life, parents may be facing many problem of their family. The first problem is family education. In oder to teach a child to the right way, parents need to be moral. The behaviour of parents would influence very strong with( on, influence on st/sb) their children. Young children can study easily the bad thing from their friends, movies, society...They may try smoking, drinking alcohol or becoming violence. They are even addicted to drugs. It will lead to an unhappy family.
Secondly, parents may be facing family's economic. ( economy)High income will help the life ( lack a verb)more comfortable. Moreover, many parents emphasized ( what is your aim when using this tense ?) to earn money too much and do not take good care of their family.
The third problem is the way to make a cosy family. How sweet and gentle the family is when every member gather( gathers) in their dinner and talk together after a labour day! The parents nees to listen more from their children and thay need also ( I think these words are wrong in order)to make a chance to change the atmosphere of their family. Nowadays, the number of divorce couples increases fast. It can be a shock to their children and influence bad ro society. A summer holiday or even a cosy dinner could help the family mantain happiness.
The fourth problem is the equality between men and women. Many family still mantain the view that a boy is better than s girl. Violence in family is also an important problem. There are many way to solve these problem and it according to each member in family( it depends on).
For me, being a student, I can help my parents to earn money by being a tutor. the money is not much but it make my parents are proud of me. To keep a happy family, I often talk to my parents and concern to them very much. On my parents ' anniversary, I boy some flowers or small presents for them. When my parents have an argrument, I say :' Papa, mama, you are harming my little heart'. It's inly a joke but my parents often talk less. It ( verb ?)one of my way to keep my family happy. I believe that all parents love their children and we should be deserted with them by being a good student

catbuitriam
20-12-2006, 08:02 PM
The way you catch the problems is good, and your ideas are interesting. But there are still some mistakes. You should review the way to use singular/plural noun and some trivial others.

miumiu
21-12-2006, 12:32 AM
the content of your writing is very good but you have problem with grammar.


Family is the cells of society. Therefore the problem of each family are also the problem of society. In the modern life, parents may be facing many problem of their family. The first problem is family education. In oder to teach a child to the right way( I donot think this structure is correst- maybe the better is: teach children to become good citizents), parents need to be moral(have healthy lifestyle). The behaviour of parents would influence very strong with (on)their children. Young children can study easily the bad thing from their friends, movies(media), society...They may try smoking, drinking alcohol or becoming violence(violent). They are even addicted to drugs. It(these) will lead to an unhappy family.
Secondly, parents may be facing family's economic. High income will help the life more comfortable. Moreover( Therefore), many parents emphasized to ( sao laij laf thif quas khuws vaayj?)earn money too much and do not take good care of their family.
The third problem is the way to make a cosy family. How sweet and gentle the family is when every member gather in their dinner and talk together after a labour day! The parents nees to listen more from their children and thay need also to make a chance to change the atmosphere of their family. Nowadays, the number of divorce couples increases fast. It can be a shock to their children and influence bad ro society. A summer holiday or even a cosy dinner could help the family mantain happiness.( I think you should change the order of sentences - the second sentence should put in the latter to make this paragraph coherent)
The fourth problem is the equality between men and women. Many family still mantain the view that a boy is better than s girl. Violence in family is also an important problem. There are many way to solve these problem and it according to ( they are up to )each member in family.( you should tell more about the equality like the role of husband and wife, and the same with family violence- I don't think it belong to the same category with family equality)
For me, being a student, I can help my parents to earn money by being a tutor. the money ( the amount of money )is not much but it make my parents are proud of me( make +Sb/St+ Adj). To keep a happy family( My family always happy), I often talk to my parents and concern to them very much. On my parents ' anniversary, I boy some flowers or small presents for them. When my parents have an argrument, I say :' Papa, mama, you are harming my little heart'. It's inly a joke but my parents often talk less. It one of my way to keep my family happy. I believe that all parents love their children and we should be deserted with( I don't understand your meaning here) them by being a good student ( what about being a good child)

good luck to you

CTKhuyen
21-12-2006, 11:38 AM
ḿnh chữa cũng không hết,chỉ biết chừng này thôi ,v́ ngữ pháp hơi tê.
Ḿnh chỉ chữa những lỗi từ vựng thôi,(problem không có s nhiều quá!,vv...)
What're the family problem that parenrs in your country may be facing? Tell about the way you solve one of the problem.

Family is the cells of society. Therefore the problem of each family are also the problem of society. In the modern life, parents may be facing many problem of their family. The first problem is family education. In oder to teach a child to the right way, parents need to be moral. The behaviour of parents would influence very strong with their children. Young children can study easily the bad thing from their friends, movies, society...They may try smoking, drinking alcohol or becoming violence. They are even addicted to drugs. It will lead to an unhappy family.
Secondly, parents may be facing family's economic. High income will help the life more comfortable. Moreover, many parents emphasized to earn money too much and do not take good care of their family.
The third problemis the way to make a cosy family. How sweet and gentle the family is when every member gather in their dinner and talk together after a labour day! The parents nees to listen more from their children and thay need also to make a chance to change the atmosphere of their family. Nowadays, the number of divorce couples increases fast. It can be a shock to their children and influence bad ro society. A summer holiday or even a cosy dinner could help the family mantain happiness.
The fourth problem is the equality between men and women. Many family still mantain the view that a boy is better than s girl. Violence in family is also an important problem. There are many way to solve these problem and it according to each member in family.
For me, being a student, I can help my parents to earn money by being a tutor. the money is not much but it make my parents are proud of me. To keep a happy family, I often talk to my parents and concern to them very much. On my parents ' anniversary, I boy some flowers or small presents for them. When my parents have an argrument, I say :' Papa, mama, you are harming my little heart'. It's inly a joke but my parents often talk less. It one of my way to keep my family happy. I believe that all parents love their children and we should be deserted with them by being a good student

mameo
21-12-2006, 11:56 AM
Tôi đánh giá cao bài viết của ban. Tuy nhiên bài viết của bạn có rất nhiều lỗi. Tôi sẽ chỉ ra cho bạn một số lỗi.
1, cách chọn từ. Khi viết tiếng Anh, bạn phải đặc biệt chú ư tới cách dùng từ sao cho đúng với văn cảnh. Ví dụ khi bạn đề cập đến vấn đề "kinh tế" của gia đ́nh parents may be facing family's economic , bạn nên cân nhắc, từ mà bạn nên dùng là "finance". Tôi có thể offer bạn 1 câu đơn giản " Secondly, finance may be another problem facing parent". Và c̣n rất nhiều lỗi tương tự như vậy trong bài viết của bạn.
2, cách dùng từ. Tiếng Anh đôi khi không như tiếng Việt, chỉ cần ghép từ với từ. Ví dụ khi bạn viết "labour day", tôi có thể hiểu ư của bạn là 1 ngày lao động. Tôi offer "hard day".Nếu bạn không biết nhiều từ tiếng Anh, bạn nên chọn một cách diễn đạt đơn giản thôi.
3, ngữ pháp. Có quá nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp. Sau khi viết bất kỳ 1 bài luận hay thậm chí 1 câu tiếng Anh, bạn cũng phải kiểm tra lại ngữ pháp. Nếu bạn gơ bài viết trên máy tính th́ nên đặt chế độ Check Grammar & Spelling.
4, cách viết 1 bài luận. Bạn gặp rắc rối lớn ở phần này, bạn có thấy thế không? Khi viết 1 bài luận tiếng Anh, nó khác với 1 bài văn tiếng Viêt. (Anh & Việt là 2 ngôn ngữ khác nhau mà):
* Mở đầu:Phải giới thiệu ngay được chủ đề,đừng đi ḷng ṿng như khi vào đề trong tiếng Việt. Mở đầu cần phải ngắn gọn, xúc tích. Bài luận có bao nhiêu ư, bạn phải đề cập đến. Ví dụ bài của bạn có 3 ư, bạn nói là có 3lí do/ nguyên nhân/etc. Hoặc nếu bạn k muốn nói rơ số lượng ư là bao nhiêu, bạn chỉ cần dùng "...some...." .etc
* Bố cục : Nên chia đều thành đoạn theo ư mà bạn đưa(nếu bạn viết bài luận essay). Độ dài các đoạn tùy theo ư chính của đoạn đó. But k nên đoạn th́ viết quá dài, đoạn th́ viết quá ngắn. Cần phải biết sắp xếp cho hợp lư.
=> Hơn nữa, có rất nhiều từ giúp bạn chuyển ư. Ví dụ, firstly, secondly, etc. Phần này bạn có thể sử dụng linh hoạt rất nhiều nhiều từ. bài viết của bạn sẽ sinh động hơn.
* Kết: Phải summary được những j mà bạn viết. Nếu chỉ cần đơn giản, bạn viết thế này "In summary/ conclusion/ deepth/ brief.... "etc. ôi có vô vàn cách.
NOTE: Khi viết tiếng Anh, nếu bạn dùng "I" ngay từ đầu th́ ạbn mới được dùng "I" ở phần tiếp theo. Đang tự nhiên, bạn cho "I" vào phần cuối bài, chẳng ai biết đấy vào đâu! Đề bài iu cầu bạn viết j, bạn viết cái đó, đừng thêm nếm cái j. Hic k jống như tiếng Việt đâu. Nếu không bạn có thể kết bài bằng cách để ngỏ!
Thực ra viết bài luận tiếng Anh cũng không khó đâu, khi bạn đă biét cách. Hăy viết càng đơn giản, càng dẽ hiểu càng tốt. Chúc bạn may mắn.
Tôi rất xin lỗi v́ "bóc" bà viết của bạn hơi nhiều. But Thực sự, bài viết của bạn quá.... Đừng buồn, cố gắng nhé.

lovetudark
27-06-2007, 04:42 AM
What are the family problems that parents in your country may be facing? Tell about the way you solve one of the problem.

Family is the cells of society. Therefore, the problems of each family are also the problem of society. In the modern life, parents may be facing many difficulty of their own family. The first one is family education. In order to teach a child what right and what wrong, parents need to be moral. The behaviors of parents would have a big affect on their children. Young children can easily learn bad things from their friends, movies, society...They may try to smoking, drinking alcohol or becoming violence, and even addicted to drugs that will lead to an unhappy family.

Secondly, parents may be facing families economic. High income will help the life more comfortable. Moreover, many parents emphasized to earn money too much and do not take good care of their family.

The third problem is the way to make a cozy family. How lovable and gentle the family is when every member gathers in their dinner and talk together after a labor day! The parents need to listen more from their children. In these days, the number of divorce couples increases very fast. It could upset their children and influence bad to society. A summer holiday or even a homely dinner could help the family maintain happiness.
The fourth problem is the equality between men and women. Many families still keep the view that a boy is better than a girl is. Violence in family is also an important problem. There are many way to solve these problems and it according to each member in family.
For me, being a student, I can help my parents to earn money by being a tutor. The money is not much but it make my parents are proud of me. To keep a happy family, I often talk to my parents and concern to them very much. On my parents ' anniversary, I buy some flowers or small presents for them. When my parents have an argument, I say:' father, mother, you are harming my little heart'. It is only a joke, but that would help because my parents often talk less. That is one of my ways to keep my family happy. I believe that all parents love their children and we should pay them back by being a good student.

I fix it already, so do not worry

babyboybubu
12-07-2007, 07:42 PM
The biggest problem in your essay is that:

The question is one of the problem but you write about some problems.
Moreover, you should have a beginning for the essay to interest people, :D
I think, instead of writing the essay like this, you should try to write about the general problem first and then more specific by giving an example (may be about your family or someone's that you know). I think that way is much more persuasive.