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View Full Version : Being a businessman or being a teacher, what would you prefer to choose ?



thienbao-star
08-12-2006, 03:01 PM
This is the topic that I will present to my class. So plz help me to correct it.

After studying in university, students have many chances to find a career which suit to them. But the big problem is what job they choose. There are many career in our society now, but in this topic, I just put forward two : business and teaching. And if you have to choose one, what would you prefer ?
In my opinion, I want to become a teacher. Do you know why I want to that ?

Firstly, teaching is a noble job. It's said that:" A student can't be successful if he has no his teacher's help". Teacher will retransmit to their students the useful knowledges which they know. These knowledges may become their useful belongings. Not only teacher give the lessons but also he/she bring up to his/her students the way of living. That are the moral lessons. Because of this, student's parents say thank to teacher. They think that teacher likes the second parent of student in school.

Secondly, that is the happy feelings when I teach. When I teach , I feel the special feelings. Not only they just listen to me but also sometime I share with their sadness, happiness...and much more. Through this, I can understand what they need, what they want...so that I can improve myself, not only developing the knowledge but also reducing the gap between us.

Thirdly, in the pedagogic environment, there's a little of fighting over interests. Teachers are willing to help together, and I feel safe and sound. Beside this, you will have many opportunities to oversea for your studying to get higher degree.

Finally, I think being a teacher is my best choice. And I will try my best to teach my lovely students.



:) Plz correct for my passages. This is the first time I write an essay :)

wind
08-12-2006, 03:12 PM
homework
2)what famous place would you like to visit?use details and reason to support your response?
Introduction:
_Pyramid, mausoleum... Pantheon, exotic animals... myths story.. This is the picture of the Egypt in most people' minds. Especial is Cairo -the capital of Egypt. Cairo , the biggest city of Arica with 1200km2 and over 13 million people ,is the biggest of Arabia world, too . About 180km from Cairo to Alexandria eastward and about 130km from Cairo to Suez cut( sluice-way) westwards. Cairo in Aribia language meant"victory".In the years 641 ,Arabiaer had build Fostad city, years 969, Fatima kingdom conquer Egypt build a new city north of Fostad, then return here. It is a Cairo
3) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ?
Action speak louder than words
Use specific reasons and examples to support your response
Introduction
_No everyone whose haven't dream ,ambition .They are execute by action, speak, thinking...Especial is by speak .You can speak a lot of your dreams , thinking of about it very time However you must make so much, lost a lot of time for success Blithering you have seek highly but every thing only zero. I agree with the statement:
Action speak louder than words
4) Compare yourself today and yourself five year ago. In what ways are you the same or different ? use specific examples to support your response.
Introduction
_ Five year ago when I was a child , I lived in happy family, I got a lot of time to play with my friends . Now everything have change, I have been adult, I must think of my future so much, I don’t have as much time, I see , I have different with myself five year ago.

thienbao-star
08-12-2006, 03:49 PM
I don't know what you are doing with my topic, wind. I need helps from everyone to correct my passages. Please do not spam in my topic.

miumiu
08-12-2006, 11:02 PM
After studying in(graduating from) university, students have many chances to find a career which suit to them( suits or suit). But the big problem is what job they choose. There are many career(carrers) in our society now, but in this topic, I just put forward two( i think u can use " mention two kinds among them"- it's simpler, right?) : business and teaching. And if you have to choose one, what would you prefer ?
In my opinion, I want to become a teacher. Do you know why I want to that ?(want to know the reason why i do that?)
Firstly, teaching is a noble job. It's said that:" A student can't be successful if he has no his teacher's help". Teacher will retransmit to their students the useful knowledges which they know. These knowledges may become their useful belongings. ( their own invaluable property)Not only teacher give the lessons but also he/she bring up to his/her students the way of living( the teachers not only give lessons but they bring us the standards of lifstyle as well). That are the moral lessons. Because of this, student's parents say thank to teacher. They think that teacher likesthe second parent ( teachers are the second parents)of student in school. SO that's the teachers who play a very important role in growing up good citizens)
Secondly, that is the happy feelings when I teach. When I teach , I feel(have) the special feelings. Not only they just listen to me but also sometime I share with their sadness, happiness...and much more. Through this, I can understand what they need, what they want...so that I can improve myself, not only developing the knowledge but also reducing the gap between us.

Thirdly, in the pedagogic environment, there's a little of fighting over interests. Teachers are willing to help together, and I feel safe and sound. Beside this, you will have many opportunities to oversea for your studying to get higher degree.( "the opputunities to go abroad to improve your knowledge, then to have higher level are more advantageous"Finally( i think" in conclusion" is better or it's confused with the last supporting idea of your paragraph, not the conclusion part), I think being a teacher is my best choice. And I will try my best to teach my lovely students.


i think u should write something about business, which features u dont like, then u will conclude ur writing.
above , i have some suggestion for u. wish u have good result.
and if u want to be corrected more professionally, u can send urs to writing class. i think that 's beeter.

thienbao-star
09-12-2006, 11:43 AM
Thanks miumiu so much:) . Because this is the first time I write an essay, so it is difficult to avoid making mistakes. But I will try my best to improve my writing skill. My big problem is unknow how to use phrases or words correctly.

hookeba
09-12-2006, 03:03 PM
@miumiu: you've done a good job, however, it might be better if you highlight errors in red.

Yellow words are hard to see. Just my two cents. :)

miumiu
09-12-2006, 10:43 PM
oh yes
thats my mistakes
i'll correct it the next time