PDA

View Full Version : can you check and give me advices?



trangtran
30-10-2006, 10:23 AM
This is the first time I post.Help me, please!
This is my paragraphs.
MYSELF
Hi everybody!
My name is Tran Ngoc Trang. Iam 18 years old.Iwas born and grow up in a nice and peceaful countryside having many kinds of fruit such as : durian,rambutan,mango,ect.In there, I live with family which has four member : my parents, one younger sister and I.We are very happy because we always listen and sympathy with together.Besides, I also have many friends. They are very good and friendly. In free time, we often go out or chat with together. Sometimes, in summer, we go to a camping trip nearby house or see the moon and stars together at night.It is romantic, is not it?
However, now I am studying in Saigontech College. It is located in Ho Chi Minh city, a big city, far from my home.So I live in aparment. This year, I am a new student so I am very strange everything . This make me to feel homesick.But it is lucky for me to have a few new friends who are rather friendly. In addition, attending a college is not simple.So , I need to study hard . Seemly, this take me time so much and I become to be busy.Sometimes, I have free time, I like to read book or listen to music; especially,literary books and romantic music.
However , for me , the studying is the best important for me to achieve my wishful thinking which is a manager in the future . I will try to not miss any occasion for studying. If not, my parents must have been sad very much.
Let wish me success.

XinhXinh
30-10-2006, 12:03 PM
Lanh chanh comment bài bạn tý, mọi người tiếp tục nhé

This is the first time I post.Help me, please!
This is my paragraphs.
MYSELF
Hi everybody!
My name is Tran Ngoc Trang. Iam 18 years old.Iwas born and grow up in a nice and peceaful countryside having many kinds of fruit such as : durian,rambutan,mango,ect.In there, I live with family--> my family which has four member--> members : my parents, one younger sister and I.We are very happy because we always listen--> love thì hay hơn and sympathy--> sympathize (chỗ này là động từ mà) with together--> each other.Besides, I also have many friends. They are very good and friendly. In--> When we have free time, we often go out or chat with--> không cần with ở đây together. Sometimes, in summer--> in the summer, we go to a camping trip--> go for camping nearby house or see the moon and stars together at night.It is romantic, is not it?
However, now I am studying in Saigontech College. It is located in--> in the Ho Chi Minh city, a big city, far from my home.So I live in thiếu quán từ an aparment. This year, I am a new student so I am very strange everything-- everything is strange for me . This make-->makes me to--> bỏ to nhé, make sbd do sth feel homesick.But it is lucky for me to have a few new friends who are rather friendly. In addition, attending a college is not simple.So , I need to study hard . Seemly, this take-->takes me time so much--> a lot of time and I become to be busy.Sometimes, I have free time, I like to read book-->reading books(like doing sth) or listen--> listening to music; especially,literary books and romantic music.
However (However nhiều thế) , for me (bỏ for me ở đây vì đằng sau có rồi), the studying is the best important for me to achieve my wishful thinking which is a manager in the future . I will try to not--> not to miss any occasion for studying. If not, my parents must have been sad very much --> good job.
Let wish me success.

Đây là ý kiến của mình, mọi người cho thêm ý kiến nhé:)

kangaroo9
30-10-2006, 03:23 PM
I post my writing topics. please check it and corect my mistake!

Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think the changes very positive, while others believed the have been negative.
Discuss both these points of view and give your opinion.

My writing:
Now a day, people’s life change very fast. The lifestyles of the modern people are not similar to the ones’ in some decades before. There are two main ideas on modern lifestyles.

From the one side, people think that modern life is better than in the past. The reason they pointed to explain this opinion that. The modern life give people more chance to improve acknowledge, getting money. Machines invented reduce hand physical labor and make more goods for our life. Many new technology developments make people feel more useful and comfortable.

On the other hand, it can be argued that the changes form old lifestyles to modern lifestyles have negative impact. Parents are too busy to look after their children, relationships among people are not the same as in the past. Many games and harmful cultural products on the internet were not good for people, especially youth. The more developed the industry is, the more polluted environment is.

In conclusion, I think that both negative and positive impacts are being in modern life. If we get some good things, we also get some bad things with developing of society. Our lives must be changed, so improving good aspects and reducing bad aspects are our responsibility.

hookeba
31-10-2006, 02:19 AM
Nowadays, people’s lives change very fast. The lifestyles of the modern people are not similar to the ones’ in some decades ago. There are two main ideas on modern lifestyles.

From the one side, people think that modern life is better than in the past. The reason is not hard to fathom. The modern life give people more chances to broaden their knowledge and earn more money. (some examples may be needed here) . Invented machines reduce physical work and produce more goods for our life. Many new developments in technology make people feel more useful and comfortable. (clarify this claim)

On the other hand, it can be argued that the changes form old lifestyles to modern ones have negative impact. Parents are too busy to look after their children, relationships among people are not the same as in the past. Many games and depraved websites on the internet will corrupt the moral of many people, especially the youth's. Moreover, the more developed the industries are, the more polluted environment is.

In conclusion, I think that modern life has both negative and positive impacts. If we get some good things, we also get some bad ones with the development of our society. Our lives must be changed, so maximizing good aspects while mitigating its drawbacks are our own responsibility.

P.S: Lần sau nhớ post thành một thread riêng biệt luôn nha bạn :)