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thienthanhomenh481
13-09-2008, 11:40 AM
Topic: In some countries, people , in some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office bulding. do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position.
Every years, there are many people, specially male, start smoke cigarette. The number of people who smoke, increases day after day. Because of its harmful effect, in some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office bulding. I think it’s a good rule. There are 3 reasons, it will help protect healthy of many people, save money, save time and build a clear enviroment in public places.
Health is very important to everyone who is adult, because they have to work for their living, help their families. Smoking in office is harmful not only for their heath but also for other people’s around them. It’s more dangerous if their partner is a pregnant because of it’s bad effect for the child.
This rule also help save time and save money of smokers. They will waste time for smoking instead of doing their work and moreover, smokers will spend a lot of money for buying cigarettes. It’s maybe a chance for smokers to give up smoking.
In addition to the remains of their smoking will be limitted, it will create a fresh air for other people. It’s maybe not fair for smokers but women and children can be protected from certain diseases because of smoking. For this reason we should build some special places for smoker.
This rule is the alert for damaging influence of smoking and each of us is the model for our children in the future. So we should give up smoking as soon as possible.

kinkit_09
13-09-2008, 03:02 PM
ko nn đưa vo mục toefl ibt writing, nn dưa vo writing correction hoặc writting for begỉnner th tốt hơn v bi sai qu nhiều v ton l lỗi ngữ php cơ bản. v cũng phạm phải những lỗi ring của toefl nữa.... blah blah...
gluck,
Mạnh.

thienthanhomenh481
15-09-2008, 01:26 PM
mnh moi học toefl thi. nn vit th chua luyện sai rt nhiu. nu co thể ban sua hộ mnh voi.. cn nhung li ring của toefl l li g bạn co thể noi ro cho mnh đuọc khng? chu bạn noi mập m th sau cng mnh cung chang tin bộ đuọc gi.
thank.

phongwin
11-10-2008, 11:46 AM
Every years, there are many people, specially male, start smoke cigarette (many people-especially male smoke cigarettes). The number of people who smoke (smoker) increases day after (by) day. Because of its harmful effect, in some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office bulding. I think its a good rule. There are 3 reasons, it will help protect healthy of many people, save money, save time and build a clear enviroment in public places. (thui mnh viết lại nguyn ci intro lun cho lẹ)

Each year, the number of people-especially male smoke cigarettes to increase day by day that was harmful effect. In some countries, people are not allowed to smoke in public places and office building. In my opinion, I agree with that statement to following three reasons: protecting healthy of many people, saving money and time, clearing of the environment public places

Health is very important to everyone who is adult,because they have to must work for their livingwork to live and help their families. Smoking in office is harmful not only for their heath but also for other peoples around them. Its more dangerous if their partner is a pregnant because of its its bad effect for the child.

Also This rule also helps save time and save money of smokers (save smoker's money and time). They will waste wasting time for smoking instead of doing their work and moreover, smokers will spend a lot of money for buying cigarettes unless have this rule . Its maybe a chance for smokers to give up smoking.

In addition to the remains of their smoking will be limitted, it will create a fresh air for other people. Its maybe not fair for smokers but women and children can be protected from certain diseases because of smoking. For this reason we should build some special places for smoker. (đoạn ny c g thế ??? ni cho tui bt ri tui sửa cho)

This rule is the alert for damaging influence of smoking and each of us is the model for our children in the future. So we should give up smoking as soon as possible.

thm vi ci transition word v cho hay 1 t: fisrtly, secondly, in sum, on the other hand....c g cn thiết st th cc bạn coi sau gp gim nh :13_002:

AkiraHatake
11-10-2008, 10:08 PM
Cu đầu tin vẫn mắc lỗi Run on rồi bạn
Every year, there are many people, specially male, starting to smoke cigarette

Mướp
12-10-2008, 09:18 AM
mnh chưa hiểu lắm về cch sửa cu đầu của phongwin , c thể giải thch thm được ko

Mướp
12-10-2008, 09:50 AM
Topic: In some countries, people , in some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office bulding. do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position.
Every years, there are many people, specially male, start smoke (smoking) cigarette. The number of people who smoke (smoker), increases day after day. Because of its harmful effect, in some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office bulding. I think its (it is , đừng bao giờ viết tắt trong bi viết nha bạn) a good rule. There are 3 reasons, it will help protect healthy of many people, save money, save time and build a clear (better) enviroment in public places.
Health is very important to everyone who is adult, because they have to work for their livin (living-fees) , help their families. Smoking in office is harmful not only for their(smoker's) heath but also for other peoples around them (non smoker). Its more dangerous if their partner is a pregnant because of(hoặc dng because of th ko được dng it's , ci ny chắc bạn ko để type lộn thi) its bad effect for the child.
This rule also help save time and save the money of smokers (bạn c thể dng: help s.o to do s.t th mẫu cu ny đọc ln c lẽ sẽ hay hơn). They will waste time for smoking instead of doing their work and moreover, smokers will spend a lot of money for buying cigarettes. Its maybe a chance for smokers to give up smoking. (cu ny chắc hẳn người chấm sẽ ko hi lng lắm đu v n ko ăn khớp nghĩa với cu trước n , vả lại cn sai ngữ php)
In addition to the remains of their smoking will be limitted, it will create a fresh air for other people. Its maybe not fair for smokers but women and children can be protected from certain diseases because (caused )of smoking. For this reason we should build some special places for smoker.
This rule is the alert for damaging influence of smoking and each of us is the model for our children in the future. So we should give up smoking as soon as possible.

Theo mnh , bi của bạn tổ chức như vậy kh hợp l v ổn về cch cấu trc , nhưng nếu bạn thm một số từ nối hoặc một số trạng từ hợp l mỗi cu th bi sẽ hay hơn , v cần thm những dẫn chứng thống minh v th vị hơn chứ ko chỉ nu ra vấn đề, cẩn thận lỗi ngữ php , v nn ch cc dng từ hợp l hơn... c nhiều chỗ mnh chưa hiểu lắm về của bạn , nhưng c lẽ đ l kiến ring nn khng dm bnh phẩm , mnh cũng mới lm đề ny cch đy hơn 1 thng.Anyway th vẫn thanks for sharing. :32_002::32_002::32_002::32_002::32_002::32_002:

hokcoten
12-10-2008, 10:58 AM
mnh chưa hiểu lắm về cch sửa cu đầu của phongwin , c thể giải thch thm được ko


Cu đầu tin vẫn mắc lỗi Run on rồi bạn
Every year, there are many people, specially male, starting to smoke cigarette

cu ny l: there are many people, specially male, who start to smoke.

mệnh đề quan hệ rt gọn thi m ^^

t_te_t
18-10-2008, 10:12 PM
"start smoking" chứ bạn ơi,

t_te_t
18-10-2008, 10:18 PM
Cu đầu tin vẫn mắc lỗi Run on rồi bạn
Every year, there are many people, specially male, starting to smoke cigarette
Người ta dng "start smoking" l đng m ban. Nếu bạn muốn dng "starting to smoke" th phải viết đầy đủ l "Every year, there are many people, specially male, who are starting to smoke cigarette"m như vậy mnh cũng thấy hơi hiếm hi hị

t_te_t
18-10-2008, 10:32 PM
Cu đầu tin vẫn mắc lỗi Run on rồi bạn
Every year, there are many people, specially male, starting to smoke cigarette
Người ta dng "start smoking" l đng ri bạn ơi, cu của bạn chỉ đng khi bạn ni đầy đủ như sau: "There are many people, specially male, who are (is) starting to smoke cigarette". Đy l sự kết hợp giữa Present Continous vcấu trc "start to do ST". Nhưng trong cu ny phần đầu c "Every year" th bạn nn để ở th Present Simple v dng cấu trc "start doing ST"

quytran195
20-12-2008, 04:16 AM
There are 3 reasons, it will help protect healthy of many people
minh thay co 2 loi nho la ,help va protect thi deu la 2 verb ma 2 verbs thi ko the dung canh ben nhau duoc ,ban co the noi "it will help us to protect "minh nghi thi dung họn
.healthy ban dung o day la adjective ma o day ban dang can la noun nen phai sua lai chua la heạlth
nhung minh nghi la nen nhu vay thi hay hon "i think it is a good rule for three reasons protecting our health, saving money, and reproducing healthy environment .

quytran195
20-12-2008, 04:22 AM
There are 3 reasons, it will help protect healthy of many people, save money, save time and build a clear (better) enviroment in public places.

minh thay o day ban mac 2 loi nho la
1. help and protect la 2 verb ko the dung canh nhau duoc.ban co the noi "help us to protect "
2.healthy la mot adjective ban dang can mot noun nen phai viet la health
theo minh thi ban nen viet vay ne:"i think it is a good solution for three major reasons : protecting our health, saving money from buying cigarrets, and recreating a healthy working environment."
Ah may minh ko co vn t